التصفية والتربية وفق منهج السلف الصالح
HOW TO MAKE YOUR HUSBAND HAPPY
It is impossible for the marital relationship to be successful if the wife does not play a continuous positive roll in it, even if the husband is an excellent example so be mindful – O righteous wife – of this matter and take hold of your responsibilities as the success of the family unit relies upon you.
- If you want to do a voluntary fast, do not do so before seeking the permission of your husband. If he does not allow you then it is not your right to fast at that point.
- If your husband is not pleased with a particular member of his family, your family, a neighbour or other then that from entering his home, then do not allow that individual to enter.
- Each time you please your husband or fulfil his rights, you draw closer to his heart. Most husbands view their wives who handle their needs as a sign from the signs of love. So do not be heedless of your obligations regarding him and be mindful when he requests them from you.
- Know that the abilities of your husband are limited. So be pleased with him by making things easy upon him and not burdening him with that which he does not have the ability to undertake or by requesting things that are out of his reach. Doing so, you may place him and the family in debt, even if your husband is from the richest of men. Spending excessively on clothing and furniture is disliked as well as a detested matter, which is not befitting for an intelligent lady to indulge in. There is only one class of people who have to buy everything they see and their children desire!!
- Greet your husband with a smile when he returns home from work likewise by beautifying your hair, your dress and your overall appearance and smell good for him. If he is clearly having a bad day, go to him and assist him.
- Do not immediately approach him with your problems or the problems of the children or begin with complaints for verily the pains of work in which you do not know about are sufficient for him. If you were to persist in these matters while he is tired, then it is upon you alone to deal with its results if your husband becomes upset. Hence, it is for you to preserve a healthy environment for a man who works long hours in a society already full of problems, diversions and trials as present in our society.
- Debate your problems with your husband in private without the presence of the children, family members and friends.
- Your respect and kindness to your husband’s family is respect and kindness to your husband.
- Remain clean with regards to your teeth and always have good smelling breathe. Always guard these two matters.
- You are the leader of your home and its shepherd; therefore, handle your responsibilities with the trust entrusted to you. In addition, take care of the furniture and the property of the home.
- The right of being maintained and supported is a right entrusted to the men by Allaah ta’ala upon you. Do not request things that the women of the west request, rather ask for things but be just in doing so and do not over step the rights in which Allaah has given you.
- Do not leave the home frequently and do not do so when your husband is certainly not pleased with it.
- Do not speak to strange or foreign men (those who you are not married to) except that your husband allows you to do so and under the conditions set by the Sharee’ah.
- If you leave with your husband to the store or to visit others, then do not precede him (walking in front of him out of respect).
- BEWARE of spreading details of your sexual relationship, as this is indeed a serious sin.
- Do not argue and speak exceedingly (by talking back) with your husband if it becomes clear he is not pleased with the conversation. Stay away from useless back talk as it is evil.
- If your husband talks to you then be attentive in your listening.
- When your husband travels away from you, guard yourself, your family, his property, his children and his home.
- Try not to allow your husband to see you except that you have a pleasing appearance, a clean outfit and you are beautified.
- Do not hesitate in showing your love for your husband; as this is what will bring him closer to you and strengthen him in his home and with his family at a time when there are many temptations outside of the home.
- Accept that which your husband has provided for you and the home with gratitude and thanks and not with rejection and ingratitude.
- If one of your husband’s friends seeks information about your husband while he is away, then do not speak with him for a long period of time. Make the responses short and simple.
- It is not for you to allow anyone to take anything from the home without your husband’s permission.
- If your husband divides something for you then it is not correct for you to have displeasure in that division.
- Beware of leaving the bed of your husband no matter what the reasons were that led up to that point.